deceit
    we met where she worked; in victoria bc she was open; conversive; funny; beautiful; my last relationship had ended, recently; i saw her several times before she would agree to go out with me; then we began with dinners; drinks; it felt spontaneous; alive; self-perpetuating; as if it required no effort; she would not let me call her directly however; in six months i never knew her address; nor could i call her directly; only thru a message#; she had been abused, when she was young; i accepted that as indicitive of her behaviour i swallowed what i thought was my in-security and moved on; after six months she asked for a ring; i bought the ring; she wanted in for christmas; i was prepared to give it to her; the night we celebrated christmas she told me she never loved me; that it was always about money; that she had slept with 4-5 different men in the time she had known me; and that i came after all of them ...
    

met where she worked
    
the degree to which she lied to me;
the degree to which i was blind to it ..

    her smile

    her deceit

    move forward

    that i wasted so much time; and that i was unable to see the truth
    
none

nothing else left to say