Cause of death? I would have to say his delusional mind and my integrity to make a better life.
    It got really tough at times. I come from what i would like to call a "normal family" while he came from the one of the most dysfunctional families i have ever met. His mom was a crackwhore and his dad was never there. He often felt alone, but i changed that. & none of his past mattered to me. He made me smile; that was all that mattered. during the time that we were together he moved 5 times (living with various other family members). my mom liked him, so he spent most of his time at my house anyway. he became part of the family. he had his own seat at the dinner table, a toothbrush here, and the couch became his bed. We had so many good times together and he knew how to make a girl's heart melt. Valentine's day was the best. He would make me dinner and draw cute pictures on a 99 cent card. I would buy him all his favorite things, trying to make each year even more special than the previous. But then the jealousy began. The jealously and the lies. First some girl gave him some oral pleasure on the trampoline where we used to lay and talk all night. THEN he continued to lie in a downward spiral but i continued to believe things would change. i was constantly harassed by girls that could not just get over themselves and realize he was happy with me. They called me names and told me horrible things. Nothing ever changed but by the time i realized that, it was already too late. I was head over heels for him even though it was obvious to everyone around me that i needed to ditch him. do you think i did? no. He would be so overprotective of me but never once was i allowed to question him. But the lies kept getting more and more twisted and contorted. whatever truth was left... was a truth constructed of lies. i didn't know what to do anymore. Then there came the drugs. He swears it was "only pot." But i know better than that. His eyes were two different sizes for months. & he became so paranoid that he would go to the bookstore for hours calling me and insisted that he had all these medical conditions. It began to consume his life and it ate away our relationship too. I was forced to choose between my heart and the logic. But the decision seemed to hard to make. I loved him. How could i ever leave him? Took me 4 F#cking years to get the courage to walk away.
    We met in the summer of 2005. I was 13 years old; he was 14. At that age, the coolest place to be on a saturday night was at a fitness center that held these dances. This one boy caught my eyes with his shaggy brown hair and big green eyes. I knew i wanted him. He actually had a crush on my best friend first but eventually fell for me. That's when it all began. on september 10, 2005 he asked me out. and that was it, we were inseperable for 4 years.
    What will be remembered for? Once a liar, always a liar. Oh, and that smile. How could i forget that.
    But what i will miss the most is his mis-spelled notes and his kissed on my forehead. Those kisses used to make me feel like everything would be okay.
    I will not miss: The pain. The crying. The fights. The heartache. The family feuds. The deception.
    If i saw him again, I would walk the other way.
    I regret the length of time it took me to stand up for myself and to realize what's important in my life. College in 4 months, that's what i'm focused on.
    I wish the story didn't have to end this way. We'll never have the chance to make another memory. However, i still see him everyday, in my dreams. Back to when things were the way they used to be. Back to when we we're one and nothing was complicated. Back to when i doodled my first name with his last name. Back to when fontana and dale we're real to us. Back to when i believed in him.
I don't cry anymore though. I know that the best of that relationship was over long ago. there are just too many fishies in the sea to spend my whole life obsessing over one. there is a fishy for everyone, i just haven't found mine yet.