Complications brought on by an IN-N-OUT Burger
     J and V, a couple that died for a brief spell in March 2007 in Brooklyn N.Y, expired for good in April 2007, in Phoenix, AZ. J and V, who lived in Brooklyn N.Y. and enjoyed floating down the streets of Red Hook, romantic cheesesteak dinners and calling each other "wood mouse," survived for 8 months. The ultimate death, due to complications brought on by an IN-N-OUT Burger from N 27th Ave in New Mexico, was announced 12 hours later by J, who, after a long and broody flight to Newark, N.J., during which V refused to play hangman or answer J's silly "would you rather" questions and told her she was "annoying" him, arrived at the dispiriting conclusion that they suffered from a terminal case of lack of goodwill. The initial death, in late March 2007, succeeded a Sunday night viewing of an episode of The Sopranos. J, a self-confessed nibbler, was feeling peckish and set off to explore V's kitchen. She found a box of blueberry almond flavored yogi cereal and poured herself a bowl. V said nothing, but when the cereal was eaten and some milk remained and J spilled more dry cereal into the bowl, V flew into a fit of pique. "How much of that are you going to eat? That was supposed to be my breakfast for tomorrow morning!" Stunned, J put down the bowl and proceeded to cry. It was not the temper that set her off, nor was it the volume of V's words. Well, maybe it was, a bit. But most important, it was the fact that he didn't want to share. "If you really loved me you'd want me to eat your whole kitchen," J said softly. V thought this over for a moment. "You're right. Im sorry." They went to bed. They cried. Then they woke up and agreed to commit relationship suicide. They stayed apart from each other, exchanging the barest of emails. But then April rolled around, with its Tiffany blue skies and attendant sweet smells, and the pair set off on a vacation. Well, a vacation of sorts: V's brother was getting married to a beautiful schoolteacher on a reservation in Phoenix, AZ. V was feeling rather crabby, understandably-- his younger brother had found eternal happiness, something that threatened to elude him until the end of time. To make matters worse, he lost $500 at the casino's blackjack table. But there was hope: an IN-N-OUT Burger awaited a ten minute drive away. When the burger was attained, V let J have a bite. She liked it. A lot. She took another bite. And another. V couldn't take it anymore. "Enough already!" He snatched it back. "Get your OWN burger!" The sun continued to shine. The wedding went on. There was dancing. There was joking. There were hors d'oeuvres. There was probably some sex. It was probably enjoyable sex. But no matter. The deal was sealed. -- For the record: J and V are both slender.