CHEATING - NO TRUST - NON-COMMITMENT
    I noticed him staring at me quite at few times by the LIRR. He even sat next to me but it did not click. Then one day, out of the blue, I started to feel curious about him. Once again, I noticed is green eyes staring at me and I decide to say Hi. A few weeks after that we went out. Had a wonderful super fun time and kissed for the 1st time. After that, we could not stop kissing, in the train, at Penn Station, every where and anywhere. The hot & heavy started in the car, motel, hotel, his apt, anywhere that we could. 9 Months of Heaven. Next Sept. he meets this bow-legged beauty by his job. He told me about it and he truly expected me to be his friend while she got comfortable with him. I tried it. Hell for me. 3 Months later, she told him no can't do. She had a boyfriend and probably smelled a Rat. He was back to me full time again. What an IDIOT I was to take him back. I did not smelled the Rat. I did not know but I had fallen for him. We kept on having lots of fun. Then again in 2005, I caught him with another beauty, Mousy CW. That was over kind of fast after she realized that I was around. Took him back again. SHAME ON ME! Shortly, he stop kissing me and getting it on. I hoped and hoped that maybe 1 night he will resume. He will hug me and always held my hand when we were out. I waited 1-1/2 yrs. to see if he will kiss me again and make love to me. Tried it a couple of times he failed miserably. I realized that he did not love me. That it was infatuation at first, now I was just someone to keep him company until he found his beauty. With the advise of my Doctor(Internist) and my sisters and me not wanting to find out one of these days that he had a beauty and I will be out. I broke with him. He begged. He even told me that he will marry me. I asked what for? Reminded him about the no sex for last 1-1/2 yrs. He promised to fix it. He wanted to keep me at all costs. I refused for 2 days and around 50 phone calls, text messages and e-mails. It hurt then and it hurts now 7 months later. Sometimes, I want him to call, text or e-mail. I think of all the crying and hurting and I come to the conclusion that I really better off without him. A few days ago, I realized once again, that he did not loved me and he may not be able to love anybody and that I still LOVE HIM. How pathetic of me. In love with a user, a cheating loser. Smart, Loved and with a great supportive family and friends, yet many times, I feel lonely. I need to bury my love and BB so I could think back without hurting.
    He will stare at me at the train station.
    My first 6'2 215 lbs. guy
    my running partner
    Any day of the week Happy Hour without me!
    so far always wonder where he is.
    That I love him. Maybe my 1st and only love.
    None
    "You will be sorry in 5 Yrs of finishing with me""IDIOT"