Promising to do something and breaking it, having a girlfriend but still borrowing money, letting me pay for his life at the same time telling me I'm not good enough. For knowing I would do anything for his approval or happiness without a relationship, and using that knowledge.
    He was my best friend, supposedly, he was there for me when I needed someone (I realize now it was so he wasn't sleeping on the sofa) I paid his taxes,food, club, rent, phone, and pawn over and over based on his word he would pay me back. I told him he could wait to pay me back I asked only he pay his phone, show up when he said, and be honest.
    I went to check my mail
    The night my cat died I asked him to please come back anytime that night, I just did not want to be alone. I told him not to say yes or no because if he said yes I would be hurt if he didn't. Knowing my asking was humiliating, he said yes of course I will be back. He never showed up and when he finally called at 6am he told me I always want to hang out too late. He went on a car ride with his friends.
    Laying my head on his chest and just feeling safe. Feeling like I have a best friend who had my back no matter what. Just chilling and watching movies.
    Being told he would call and no calls, no shows, telling me friends don't have sex as he asks for money and head. Telling me I am the only friend who treats him like this, when I am the only one he owes 1300 to.
    Turn away, I have to accept my losses and I have no one else to blame.
    That my forever friendship ended when I ran out of money and hope that he would return to the guy I had met. I am disappointed that I am not worth anything to him, when I spent two days holding him while he cried over his tooth, and 500 pawning and getting my laptop back so he could have that tooth removed. I am disappointed I let this happen to me and for someone who is not worth it.
    I barely survived
    I promise we'll talk about this later...